International Registry of Lethal Hands
Your Hands Are
Lethal.
Make It Official.
File. Frame it. Let the World Know.
Earned. Certified.
Permanently on Record.
Printed on heavyweight archival stock with an elaborate illustrated border and your name in full calligraphic script. Finished with a hand-applied gold foil seal — because some things deserve to be made official.
- Heavyweight archival print stock
- Elaborate illustrated border
- Your name in calligraphic script
- Hand-applied gold foil seal
- 11" × 14" official format — standard frame size
- Unique Registry number, permanently logged
The Process
How Registration Works
Submit Your Details
Full name and mailing address. Registrations may be submitted on behalf of a colleague, a family member, or anyone whose hands deserve official recognition.
Your File Is Processed
Your entry is logged with a unique Registry number and archived permanently in the official ledger by order of the Committee.
Certificate Issued
Your digital certificate is delivered within 24 hours. The printed document ships within 7 days, framed-ready.
Official Registration
Select Your Registration
- High-res PDF certificate
- Official Registry number
- Permanent ledger entry
- High-res PDF certificate
- Printed archival certificate
- Hand-applied gold foil seal
- 11" × 14" official format
- Official Registry number
- Permanent ledger entry
- Free worldwide shipping
The Registry Welcomes
Who Should Register
The guy who thinks he can beat a UFC fighter
Chuck Norris fans
The ultimate gift for the man who has everything
Women who have been told to calm down
The bachelor party gift the groomsman will never stop talking about
The Father’s Day gift he’ll actually remember
Guys who shadow box in their underwear
Guys who shadow box in public
Anyone who watches action films and takes notes
The boyfriend, husband, brother, or friend who considers themselves a threat
The Registry does not judge the reason for filing. It only records the result.
From The Registered
What Holders Say
Hung it in my office. My coworkers haven’t questioned my authority since.
Registered my dad’s hands without telling him. His reaction when it arrived was worth every penny.
Finally, paperwork that reflects my actual threat level.
Enquiries
Frequently Asked
The Registry makes no claims regarding legal enforceability. It does, however, look extremely official when framed.
Yes. Enter the registrant's name and delivery address at checkout. The Registry does not require the subject's consent, awareness, or cooperation.
Both hands may be registered. The Registry recommends dual registration for maximum deterrence.
Digital certificates are delivered within 24 hours. Printed certificates ship within 7 days. The Registry operates with urgency befitting the gravity of the matter."
International Registry of Lethal Hands
Make It Official.
Recognition is earned. The record is permanent.
Register My Hands